


Bulletproof Heart

by destieljunkie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Destiel - Freeform, Emotionally Repressed Dean, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Rough Sex, Valentine - Freeform, Valentine's Day, repressed homosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 09:29:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destieljunkie/pseuds/destieljunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentine’s Day is approaching once again. Dean Winchester is preparing for a busy week at the dating agency he owns even though he has vowed to stay single. To save himself the pain of another shattered relationship he has carefully wrapped a shield around his heart to protect him from anything close to love and affection. Then he met Castiel.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Bulletproof Heart

Red paper hearts in every window. Relentless clusters of pink curling ribbon and distasteful plastic roses had already put Castiel in a dark mood. He was forced to look at them every time he glanced in a shop window. He pulled his jacket a little tighter to hold off the winter chill. It was all starting to make him feel nauseous. It was the first week of February and Castiel was trying to ignore the fact commercial exploitation had apparently come early this year. He fixed his eyes on the pavement so he could try and make it to the next street without having a convulsion.

His brother had suddenly decided to host an engagement party for their sister on Valentine’s Day of all days and Castiel could have cursed him for it. Not that he was totally against the idea of celebrating something like that but Gabriel insisted he bring a 'plus one’ - supposedly to make up the numbers. Castiel suspected he had a much more sinister motive. Gabriel had been trying to get him paired up with someone for years with varying degrees of success. Nothing ever lasted more than a few months and after the last broken heart he swore to stay clear of relationships for good. They were expensive and messy and more often than not a complete waste of his time that ended in disaster. There was always something missing. Nothing ever felt quite right and he was usually left feeling confused and unfulfilled. His heart desperately needed more, but he never quite figured out what it was so he stopped trying. He just wanted to be left alone.

Castiel walked another two blocks until he saw the little side street he was heading for and glanced nervously in both directions before he put his head down and hurried over the road. He stopped in the middle of a row of disused office space. Castiel sighed before straightening up his shoulders and staring up at the sign above the door. He often spared it a glance when he walked past on his way home from work but never thought about crossing the street to get a better look. Actually going in was a ridiculous idea, but he still found himself admiring the sign above his head. There were two hearts wound together in black and red with the words _Made In Heaven_ etched in a flowing script that suggested total discretion. The banner lit up his face with a wash of neon light and Castiel felt his stomach turn over. He wasn’t sure if it was just because he was nervous or because he was standing in the shady entrance to a dating agency and still considering going in. He pictured Gabriel’s look of crushing disappointment when he turned up to the party on his own and took a deep breath.

It was near to closing time on a Friday evening and Castiel tried to convince himself it was far too late to bother anyone at that hour. He was about to abandon the idea completely when he heard a thud and a muffled curse that sounded like it came from a room at the top of the stairs. There was some more mindless shuffling and Castiel couldn't resist the temptation to go and investigate. He called out several times but got no reply so he headed up to the first floor and soon found himself standing in front of an office door marked by a small gold plate with a name engraved across the middle. Castiel leaned forward and scanned the inscription. For some reason he read it aloud when he traced the lines with his finger.

_Dean Winchester_

_Manager_

Castiel could hear some movement behind the door and rested his face against it until it was suddenly pulled open and he almost fell inside, trying to steady himself on the man who was staring down at him in surprise.

“Whoa… steady, cowboy.” A deep voice vibrated against his cheek while he tried to straighten up. Castiel flushed all the way up to his ears when he realized he was being studied by the most intense pair of green eyes he'd ever seen. Castiel knew he was staring but couldn’t seem to do much about it and felt an unexpected flood of warmth spread all the way down his body. “You want a date?” Dean Winchester asked. Castiel swallowed hard.

“Sorry?” He stammered. He really didn’t know what to say and consciously pushed out the little voice screaming  _God, yes!_   in the back of his head. He blinked like an idiot.

“A date?” Dean was finding it difficult to focus on spilling out the usual pitch he always spouted at potential new clients. He strategically moved away and sat behind a cluttered desk in an attempt to put some kind of physical barrier between himself and the gorgeous man with dark mussed up hair and piercing blue eyes who had just fallen into his office.

“Why would you think that?” Castiel managed at last, almost forgetting what he actually came for in the first place. Dean couldn’t resist a little smile.

“'Cause you just opened my door with your face. I presumed you wanted to sign up as a client.”

“Yes, of course. Sorry.” Castiel stumbled forward and hurriedly pulled out a chair to sit down opposite Dean. “I’m very sorry if I came across as some kind of creepy stalker. Certainly not my intention.” He apologized, crossing his hands over his lap in a shy gesture Dean actually found quite sweet. Castiel was just staring at the soft red carpet and waiting for Dean to say something to fill in the empty space of awkward silence.

“No problem.” Dean laughed, reaching for a pen and a heart shaped pad of post-it notes. “Not sure we should list _stalker_   as one of your hobbies on your résumé, though.”

“What?” Castiel blinked again. Dean held out one arm towards him.

“Let’s start again, shall we?” He said. Castiel looked up and shook his hand. “Dean Winchester. Welcome to Made In Heaven.” He introduced himself more formally this time but seemed very slow to release the grip around those trembling fingers.

“Castiel. Just Castiel.”

“Just Castiel? You don’t have a surname?” Dean frowned. Castiel shrugged and looked around the office at the many certificates and framed testimonials scattered across the pink walls. More than likely a shade of _Classic Rose_   or something equally offensive. His stomach turned over again.

“Yes, of course but I don’t really want to use it. I would like to remain somewhat anonymous.” Dean let him talk. It wasn’t unusual for a client to be reluctant to throw themselves back in the game. “I wasn’t sure I should even come here.” Castiel said quietly. “My sister's having a party and my brother will never let me live it down if I don’t turn up with someone on my arm so… here I am.” He sighed.

“You really _don’t_   want to be here, do you?” Dean blew out a long whistle. Castiel shook his head. “Well I can’t do much to help with that but if you do need a date for the evening I might be able to find something.” Dean muttered, pulling out a drawer. He lifted a small index file onto the desk and pushed a few crumpled invoices away to start leafing through the cards. “Problem is, Cas.” Dean continued to flick through the file.

“Castiel.”

“Uh-huh.” Dean nodded, sparing him a token glance. “Not many people who sign up with us want a one-time deal, if you know what I mean.” Castiel was chewing on the inside of his cheek while he watched Dean’s skillful fingers trace along the edges of the cards. He forced himself to look away.

“I appreciate that, Mr Winchester.”

“Dean.”

“Dean.” Castiel repeated. He sat back in the chair and fidgeted with a stray thread of cotton on his shirt sleeve. “But I’m not really interested in pursuing a relationship with anyone.” Dean stared at him, trying not to say something insulting.

“Best not put that on your file, either. Might tend to put people off.” Dean declined to point out that maybe a dating agency was probably not the best place to go if you wanted to stay single. Castiel completely missed the sarcasm. He seemed to be far too distracted by the deft movement of Dean’s fingers as they sifted effortlessly through the files. Dean went back to his post-it and jotted down a few obvious details while Castiel looked anywhere else so he didn't have to watch the other man’s hands, or be pinned down again by that demanding gaze. The only sound was the scratch of the pen across the paper until Dean got to the _personal_   section of the application. He could sense how uncomfortable Castiel was with the situation so he reached out to cover his hand to put him at ease. Castiel held a breath when Dean patted it before scanning a few familiar questions.

“’Kay, Cas.”

“Castiel.”

“Uh-huh. I can probably fill in most of this for you except sexual preference.” Dean smiled, sitting back and resting the end of the pen seductively in his mouth. Castiel wasn't sure it was on accident. Dean tapped it against his bottom lip and removed his hand. He must have forgotten to turn the thermostat down again. “I have to ask that. I wouldn’t want to be presumptuous. So, are you looking for a male or female partner?” Castiel stared at Dean’s mouth in surprise. He hadn’t expected that.

“Well, female. Obviously.” He replied blankly. His eyebrows were pinched together. Dean ran his eyes up and down Castiel’s body excruciatingly slowly and Castiel could have sworn he saw a mischievous glint sparkle in the corner of one eye.

“Huh. My mistake, then. I thought you were looking for something else.” Castiel couldn't think of a thing to say, wondering if Dean meant the implication to be quite so blatant.

“What do you mean?”

Dean dropped the pen and stood up.

“Nothing, Cas.” He answered, but something made him spit out a stray thought. “Just, well. Maybe you never found what you wanted ‘cause you were looking in all the wrong places.” Another uncomfortable silence followed. “Anyway.” Dean continued. “I’ll see what I can do. Let me have your cell number.” Castiel could feel his heart start to pound again.

“Why?”

Dean sighed. Castiel was either incredibly dense or absolutely clueless when it came to the basic rules of dating. There was also the unlikely possibility he had no idea just how fucking gorgeous he was. Dean shook all those distracting thoughts away.

“So I can let you know if I find a match.” He replied, trying to go easy on him. Dean had in fact already decided he rather liked this hopelessly lost puppy of a man who was still staring at him with desperation in those big blue eyes. Castiel had somehow concluded Dean was probably an insufferable dick who needed to constantly over-compensate for his social ineptitude if you had the misfortune to spend more than five minutes alone with him. He wore no ring and was probably at work this late every night. His files were so painstakingly organized Castiel quickly figured out Dean had no one to go home to either. He must have looked like he was thinking too hard. Dean whistled at him to get his attention. “Cas? You're miles away.” Dean gave him a flash of impossibly white teeth. He felt rather insignificant in comparison.

“Castiel.”

“Uh-huh. What were you thinking about?”

“Five minutes alone with you.” It dropped out his mouth before he could stop it. Castiel hadn't made much of an attempt to hide how irritating he found Dean, but he didn't really mean to say _that_   out loud. Dean could easily pass for a game show host or possibly achieve gainful employment as a circus ringmaster. Castiel couldn’t quite decide which one he would like less. Dean laughed and unexpectedly reached out to run an aimless stroke down the length of Castiel’s arm - all the way from his shoulder to his wrist. It was strangely wonderful and Castiel found himself shuddering in response.

“Thanks for the offer, Cas but I already have a dinner date.” Castiel felt a mystifying stab of disappointment and tried not to let it show. “My little brother. I promised to meet him at seven. I wouldn’t wanna let the kid down.” Dean added. Castiel felt like a dick. Maybe he had misjudged him. Dean Winchester probably had the potential to be quite a charming man if you were prepared to look beyond the façade of alpha male hormones and biker chic. “So what day do you want this escort for?” Dean asked casually, glancing at the clock before packing away the stationery.

“The fourteenth. Valentine’s Day.”

“Shit, Cas. I think that’s all booked up. You left it a little late, man. Why didn’t you swing by earlier?”

Castiel shrugged.

“I didn’t realize it would be this hard for me to get a date.” He said quietly. Dean let his eyes drift leisurely up and down Castiel’s body a second time.

“Yeah. You and me both.”

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Castiel woke up next morning and remembered sleepily it was Saturday. He didn't have to go into the bookstore until the afternoon. Gabriel promised to open up on the condition they could meet up later and check on some details for the party. Castiel knew it didn't matter what he said but decided to humour him anyway. He would smile and nod in all the right places just like he always did when Gabriel was organizing stuff. He was dreading the relentless interrogation he knew was coming. He had no details about his non-existent _plus one_   and always found it impossible to lie to Gabriel. He had some kind of sixth sense when people were feeding him bullshit. It was going to be a painful afternoon Castiel could quite easily have done without. He hardly slept the night before after several restless hours wondering why he couldn’t get Dean Winchester out of his head. He put it all down to espresso and insomnia-induced hallucinations. It helped him get through the rest of the night without giving in to the idea completely and doing something sinful to himself.

Castiel lay in bed for another half hour until he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. He picked up his phone in the hope Mr Winchester had managed to come through for him. No missed calls, no voice-mails, and one completely unnecessary text from Gabriel telling him to get up. Castiel sighed and put the phone back. He wasn't sure if he should mention Dean at all later and even considered telling his brother he had chosen to go to the party alone. He dismissed it just as quickly. Gabriel was incredibly persuasive when he put his mind to something and Castiel had never really been able to say no to him. He pushed his brother into horrible relationships - apparently based on a mutual ability to make each other as miserable as possible. Castiel shivered at the cold memory of one girl he practically catapulted at him. She called him many things he would never be able to repeat in a civilized society and abruptly finished the whole sorry affair by throwing a book at his head. He was actually rather grateful they weren’t quite as compatible as Gabriel made out.

Maybe Dean was right after all. He was looking in all the wrong places.

Castiel reached the bookshop just after midday, putting his hand over his eyes like a shield from the winter sunlight when he peered through the city grime collecting on the glass. He could just see Gabriel moving boxes of new books about inside. Castiel knew the door was always locked during lunch hour so he rapped hard on the pane. Gabriel stood up and smiled at him in greeting while he dusted off his hands and walked over to let him in.

“Hey, bro.” Gabriel grinned at him. He hooked their arms together and practically dragged Castiel inside, narrowly avoiding a precarious stack of books blocking the path to the back room. He must have pulled a face because Gabriel was on him before he even had chance to take off his jacket. He went through to the office to make Castiel a cup of strong coffee before he went straight for the jugular and pressed him for information. Castiel moved the abandoned stock so it didn’t injure any potential customers and sat down on one of the boxes while he waited for Gabriel to come back out. He could hear him shuffling around and talking to himself. “Well?” Castiel heard a muffled shout and rolled his eyes. The torture had apparently started already. Gabriel didn't even have the decency to wait until they were both in the same room.

“What?” Castiel called back in annoyance. Gabriel’s head appeared in the doorway.

“You know perfectly well what.” He replied. “So don’t be an asshole about it. Date?” One simple word uttered with enough self-satisfaction to fill a small concert hall and loaded with many unspoken questions.

“Not yet.” Castiel answered quickly, unintentionally staring at the _Adult Fiction: Gay/Lesbian Interest_   section in the middle of the opposite wall. He knew that wouldn't be enough, but thought he might buy himself enough time to think of something a bit less tragic in the two minutes it would take Gabriel to finish making the coffee. It seemed to pay off when his head dipped back into the office with a sound of disappointment. Castiel shifted awkwardly on the cardboard box, pushing a particularly vivid image of a naked Dean Winchester out of his head.

“You know, _I_   could probably find - ” Castiel cut him off.

“No! I am perfectly capable of finding my own date, thank you very much.” He added, with a scowl. That wasn't really true because he clearly hadn’t and Dean already told him Valentine’s Day wasn't looking very promising in terms of available women who weren’t really interested in pursuing a relationship. He sighed and almost resigned himself to admitting to Gabriel he would rather go alone. His brother reappeared as if on cue and leaned up against one of the bookcases. He was sipping carefully from the side of his mug and staring at Castiel expectantly through a spiral of steam.

“I could do with your help on this.” There was an uncomfortable pause when he handed over the other mug of coffee with a sly smile. Castiel looked at it with distaste. There was no way his design choice of  _I_ ♥ _Mondays_   was accidental. “Please remove that look from your face. Come and give me your customary criticism on this seating plan and tell me what you think about colour schemes. I was going to go with _Springtime_ but apparently yellow and green are out this year.” He was shaking his head in astonishment. “Anyway.” He continued, while Castiel reluctantly looked over the rather formal proposals now spread across the counter. He could almost feel the laser point of scrutiny burning into his cheek when he realized Gabriel was still watching him.

“What?” Castiel asked at last. He would rather Gabriel just asked him outright what he wanted to know rather than trying to mind-fuck him with some kind of twisted attempt at psychology.

“Oh, don’t be so tetchy. I'm merely interested in who I'll be sitting next to at the main table.” Gabriel dismissed Castiel with a wave of his hand. He knew how much his brother sulked when he was questioned about his romantic interests. Castiel had never really been in love and Gabriel suspected it bothered him a lot more than he let on. It wasn't very difficult to make the link between a battered empty heart and his intense dislike of Valentine’s Day.

“I said I would bring someone, and I will.” Castiel snapped back. He was starting to lose hope Dean would manage to find someone for him to go with, but he would be damned if he was going to let Gabriel find him a date for the evening. He shivered again and rubbed at his head like he could still feel the lump left by a hardback edition of the works of John Steinbeck. Gabriel set down his cup and raised both palms in defeat. He decided it would probably be wise not to press him anymore and was too busy planning the finer details of the party to care enough to interfere. Castiel gave him some pointers and sent him upstairs with his diary and a couple of aspirin. He unlocked the shop door and tried hard to think of someone he could ask to go with him.

He had nothing. The image of Dean Winchester suddenly returned without warning. This time Castiel didn't push it away.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Castiel was walking back from the bookstore a few days later and contemplating dropping by Dean’s office on his way home. It was now Wednesday. It was already the twelfth of February and Dean still hadn't called or even left a message. Castiel wondered absently if the enigmatic Mr Winchester had forgotten all about him. He felt a bitter ache of disappointment that he clearly hadn't had quite as much impact on Dean as he hoped. Castiel decided to chance it, and hurried towards the little side street that led to _Made In Heaven_. He ran up the first flight of steps before he had time to change his mind.

Castiel knocked on the door to Dean’s office and waited, taking in a deep breath to try and calm his thumping heart. He made an effort to blank out selective memories of some of his more explicit dreams he convinced himself he had absolutely no control over when he was asleep. The thought of green eyes and the spattering of soft stubble on a strong jaw sent his blood surging through his veins like a freight train.

He _had_ to stop thinking about him.

All his thoughts were instantly scattered when the door was suddenly pulled open. Castiel was astonished to see a barn-door of a man looming over him and it was definitely not Dean Winchester. The man had half a sandwich hanging from one corner of his mouth and was staring at Castiel expectantly. He seemed to be waiting for some explanation that would justify disturbing his lunch.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Castiel spluttered. “I was looking for Dean. Dean Winchester.” He made a point of looking at the door plate. The man quickly wiped his hands down his jeans and nodded for Castiel to go in. The office was a mess and there were open boxes and stacks of paper littering the floor. Castiel frowned while he scanned the room. “Everything okay?” He asked doubtfully. The man finished chewing and held out his hand.

“Yeah.” He coughed and punched a curled up fist into his chest a couple of times to dislodge a particularly stubborn piece of bread. “Sorry, just helping out. I’m Sam, Sam Winchester. Dean’s my brother.”

“I see. Castiel.” He replied.

“Oh, so you’re Castiel, huh? _Just Castiel_ … yeah, I know.” Sam smiled down at him. “Pleasure. Here give me a hand, will you? That filing cabinet is real heavy.” Sam moved over to the far wall. Castiel immediately shed his jacket, still working through the cryptic implication he had clearly been the subject of a recent conversation. He wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to feel about that.

“Why are you moving stuff? Dean’s not leaving, is he?” He burst out. He hadn't really meant it to sound quite so desperately helpless but Sam didn’t seem to care much. He was just watching him.

“No, don’t worry.” He laughed. “He’s not leaving. Just redecorating and clearing out some old files. Business has been picking up for him lately. I think he’s looking to expand.” Castiel did his very best to hide the long sigh of relief that filled the air around his mouth. If Sam noticed, he was polite enough not to mention it. They continued with small talk while they shifted some of the furniture around and started to shred some of the outdated paperwork Dean had carefully filed in the pile labelled _to be ditched._ Castiel smiled to himself when he saw it was written on one of the pink heart shaped post-its Dean always kept on his desk. They seemed to be such a totally unusual choice for someone like him. Perhaps there was a lot more to Dean Winchester than met the eye.

“One thing I don’t understand.” Castiel started. He sat down on the carpet and scrunched up his nose. He was really just thinking aloud, but Sam was a very captive audience and Castiel decided to try his luck. “If Dean has no interest in love then why on earth would he open a dating agency?”

Sam nodded, like he was remembering something important.

“You know, I asked him the same thing at the time. Never did give me a straight answer.” Sam aimed a piece of balled up paper at the rubbish bin next to the desk. He missed. Dean could pick it up later. “I suppose he thought maybe he could help other people find love, even if he gave up on it himself. He really is quite a nice guy underneath all that bullshit and leather.”

“Hmm.” Castiel murmured, trying very hard not to think about what was underneath the leather. Actually, that wasn’t strictly true. He had spent several exhausting hours thinking about it. “Where is he, anyway?” Castiel asked suddenly. He was pushing both hands through the thick strands of carpet and absently watching the way it seemed to fall back into position, no matter how much he twisted.

“Not sure. He said he had a few errands to run and asked me to start clearing up. I don’t imagine he’ll be very long.” Sam added. “You’re welcome to wait for him if you want. I’m sure he'll be glad you dropped by.”

“Oh.” Castiel responded quietly. “Why? Has he got something for me?” Sam shrugged. He obviously had no interest in matchmaking for a living. He only helped Dean out with maintenance and the occasional tax return. He never got involved with the public relations side of the business.

“I have no idea.” Sam continued to shred some of the old invoices and inventory receipts. They both fell into a comfortable silence again and Castiel was watching the movement of the machine. He couldn’t stop himself from asking Sam how he knew who he was.

“Sam?” Castiel was really trying not to sound too desperate. “What did Dean say about me?” Sam looked up from his handful of paper.

“Not much.” He replied slowly.

“Oh.” Castiel’s smile faded a little.

“I vaguely remember the word _adorable_ being used at some point, but I can’t quite recall the context.” Sam laughed.

“Oh.” Castiel said again, but this time he flushed pink.

After a few more minutes Castiel decided he should probably head home. He promised to call Gabriel about alternative colour schemes and it was really cold outside. The wind was picking up and he didn't particularly want to freeze to death before he reached the end of the street. He offered his thanks to Sam and bid him goodnight. He stood up to open the door and his heart almost stopped when it was pushed open with enough force to practically take his arm off. Dean Winchester was standing in the doorway with his hands full of paper bags. The tips of his ears and the end of his nose were red. He was shivering with cold.

“Cas.”

“Dean.”

Both men just stared at each other. Castiel thought he might actually throw up if it went on much longer but Sam coughed just in time and pulled him out of his trance.

“Here, let me.” Castiel said kindly, taking some of the bags from Dean and setting them gently on the floor.

“Thanks, Cas. Jeez, it’s chilly out there.” He sat down on the desk and folded both arms across his chest. “I’m sorry I haven’t got back to you yet. I’ve been so busy with all the redecorating and stuff. I was gonna call you later but I’m afraid there isn’t much to tell. There’s a couple more I need to try but most of my clients already have a date for Valentine’s or aren't really too sold on the idea of just the one night.” Castiel forced a smile.

“That’s okay, I understand.” Dean felt his heart-strings go. He really wanted to help him, wondering how anyone could look so small and fragile when they were trying so hard to be strong.

“Hey.” Dean pushed himself up from the desk. He walked over to Castiel and patted his shoulder. “We’ve all been there, Cas. I wish I had a dollar for every broken heart and disappointment." Dean smiled at him. “You’ll know when you find the right one. Just when you least expect it." Sam held back another laugh when he saw the way they looked at each other.

 _Yes, Dean_. _Yes, you will_.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Thursday passed him by completely and then Friday morning came and Castiel was already late for work. He hadn't slept properly for the seventh night in a row. He didn’t even have time to call in at the agency to see if there were any new developments overnight. He was trusting Dean to call him with the details if and when there actually were any.

The hours dragged by unbelievably slowly. He couldn’t even be bothered to impress any of the customers like he usually did. Castiel distracted himself by reading the morning paper and staring out the window, watching the world go by as he mindlessly sipped from a cup of cold coffee. It took him the best part of an hour to realize he was still on the second page and had daydreamed most of the afternoon away. With no word from Dean, Castiel reluctantly made the decision he would rather decline the invitation than go alone. _Decline_   was maybe not quite the right word. _Lie_ was closer. He was going to tell Gabriel he was sick.

Castiel knew everyone would be disappointed and he would probably have to submit endless apologies for the next ten anniversaries at least, but it seemed like the only option left. He sent Dean a voice-mail telling him his services were no longer required and a short text to Gabriel saying he wouldn't be able to go after all. He felt a surge of adrenaline when he pressed send. He expected an assault of demanding questions and was pretty certain Gabriel wouldn't disappoint. He put the phone on vibrate and pushed it deep into his pocket so he wouldn’t even be tempted to answer it.

Castiel locked up the store at six and started to make his way home. The evening was dark and cold and did nothing to ease the feeling of emptiness inside him. He glanced into candlelit restaurant windows and passed by devoted couples walking hand in hand. He told himself he didn’t care about romance or finding his soul mate, but maybe a little part of him longed for someone to hold him and kiss his lips like they were painted with stardust. He blinked it all away. Valentine’s Day was the most stupid and pointless holiday ever and love was definitely overrated.

Castiel was almost home when he briefly pulled out his cell just to make sure both messages had gone through. His heart sank when he saw the amount of missed calls and unopened texts. Gabriel had apparently been trying to reach him all afternoon. Castiel was ashamed he had to resort to such disgraceful tactics just to be free of public humiliation. He had never lied to Gabriel before and felt so bad about it he couldn’t even bring himself to read the messages. He turned off his phone and prepared for an entire evening of B movie re-runs just to make sure he punished himself properly.

Castiel was soon settled neatly into his own little pocket of self-pity in the deepest corner of the couch when he heard a gentle knock on the front door. He had absolutely no intention of answering it and wiggled his butt even more firmly between a nest of pillows. He crossed his arms defensively over his chest and tutted with frustration when the sound came again. It was much more insistent this time so he sighed melodramatically and pushed himself up. He almost collapsed when he opened the door to see Dean Winchester standing on his front step. He looked thoroughly sorry for himself and was holding one hand behind his back. Castiel was waiting for him to say something but Dean kept chewing on his bottom lip.

“Dean?” Castiel took a few seconds to catch up.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said quietly. “I was just passing.”

“You live on the other side of town.” Castiel pointed out wearily. He was already emotional and in no mood for mind games. Even more importantly there was an industrial size tub of Rock ‘N Pop Swirl melting in the living room.

“Okay, maybe not.” Dean abandoned all pretense and blew out a long rush of air. “I came to see if I could persuade you to go tonight after all. I tried to call you like a hundred times but it kept going to voice-mail. There’s still time to change your mind.” Castiel frowned. He didn't understand why Dean would even care at all. He paid him in advance. Castiel leaned up against the door and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

“I turned my phone off. I told you, I’m not going.” He said defiantly, prepared to miss out because he was too ashamed to admit he hadn’t been able to get a date. Dean felt really sorry for him.

“But, Cas… it’s a special day. You know your brother wants you there.”

“I would rather not go at all than have to admit to Gabriel I couldn’t get anyone to go out with me. Why are you _really_   here?” Castiel asked suddenly.

“I didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day.” Dean said softly. Castiel thought he saw a slight blush gradually creep up his neck when he pulled his arm from behind his back and looked down at Castiel with hope shining through the bright green pools of his eyes. “Actually, that’s not strictly true.” He spoke the next sentence so quietly Castiel had to lean forward to hear him. Dean held out a single red rose and offered it to him. “I didn’t want _you_   to be alone on Valentine’s Day.” Castiel hesitantly took the stem between his fingers and blinked stupidly at it.

“Why do you care?” He asked, in a stunned whisper. Dean shuffled his feet and stared down at his boots.

“I don’t know. I just do.”

Castiel sighed. Dean had gone out of his way to come over. At the least he should ask him in. Castiel opened the door a little wider and stretched his arm down the hallway in a gesture of invitation. Dean dipped his head and wandered slowly towards the flood of amber light streaming out from the room at the end of the passageway. He glanced round the small apartment. The couch was old and worn, and the television looked like it might have been rescued from a landfill. There were bookcases lining most of the walls and a tall wooden lamp in one corner giving out a soft glow. It gave the whole room a strange ethereal quality that made Dean feel like he had just taken a step back in time.

“It’s kinda nice, Cas. Retro.” Dean said, taking in his surroundings. Castiel put the rose carefully on the mantel and disappeared into the kitchen.

“No, Dean. It’s called having no money.”

Dean allowed himself a small smile.

“I still like it.” He added, dropping down gracelessly onto the pile of cushions. Castiel came back and passed him a spoon.

“Here, my favourite - try it.” Castiel sat down next to Dean and nudged the open tub of ice cream towards him. Dean peered inside and pulled a face.

“It looks like radioactive waste.”

“True, but in its defense it tastes delicious and it’s got these little balls that just pop in your mouth. It doesn’t get much better than that.” Castiel was so busy poking and prodding at the gooey mess he didn't realize Dean was staring at his mouth and mindlessly twirling the spoon between his fingers. Castiel thought it looked a lot less appetizing than it had a few minutes ago.

“I guess not.” Dean answered thoughtfully. Castiel ignored the suggestive reference and tried very hard not to blush when his eyes flicked back up. He dipped in and signalled for Dean to do the same. He didn't move so Castiel held up the spoon and watched Dean lick his lips before taking it deep into his mouth. Castiel felt an unexpected rush of blood between his legs. His hand started to tremble so Dean wrapped his fingers around Castiel’s wrist to steady him and sucked all the melted ice cream from the edge. His lips were swollen and pink and made a soft pop when Castiel pulled it free. He was pretty sure that was the exact moment his mouth dropped open. Castiel let the spoon fall with a clatter and Dean suddenly blinked like a spell had been broken. They both quickly pulled apart and Castiel busied himself with clearing away the mess. When he returned Dean was sitting right on the edge of the couch and twisting his fingers together.

“So, there’s nothing at all I can say to make you change your mind?” Dean asked slowly. Castiel was enjoying the company until he felt the sting of having to miss the party. He shook his head and wiped both hands down his thighs to dry them off.

“I don’t think so. Thanks for trying, though.” He added, nodding his head towards the rose. “I just don’t want to go alone.” Dean was watching the seductive movement of his hands.

“I’ll go with you.” He said suddenly. Castiel stared at him in surprise. His heart started beating so fast he thought he was going to pass out.

“Dean.”

“Dude, it’s fine. Honestly. I feel kinda bad I didn’t manage to get anyone for you.” Dean gave him the most persuasive smile he possessed and ignored the little flutter of excitement that stirred his senses with the thought of spending an evening with Castiel on his arm. “I can take you, Cas. If you want me to play along and pretend to be your date, I don’t mind.” Dean attempted a small laugh, but it sounded forced and he had to look away when Castiel realized exactly what that meant. He found himself being inexplicably pulled towards Dean like he was hooked on an invisible thread. 

“You would do that for me?” Castiel asked in amazement. He wasn’t certain Dean wasn’t just saying it to make him feel better while secretly praying to an entire pantheon of Gods he would politely decline. The very last thing he wanted from Dean Winchester was pity.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal. I got nothing else to do tonight, anyway.” Castiel blinked, and tried not to bite the inside of his cheek too hard. Dean must have realized how insulting that sounded and stammered a response. “Cas, that did _not_   come out the way I meant it.”

“Dean.”

“I know how important this is to you, sorry.”

Dean desperately tried to apologize with his eyes. Castiel swallowed a moan. Holy shit, he was cute. Even though he ran a dating agency for a living, Dean Winchester was as emotionally repressed as they come and Castiel was ashamed to admit he was rather enjoying watching him squirm. He should really put him out of his misery.

“Dean, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. That’s not the same.” Dean smiled. “Get your coat.”

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

By the time they reached the end of the street Castiel had sent a quick text to Gabriel to say he was actually feeling much better and was going to be able to make it after all. Even though he longed to pretend otherwise, he also said he was bringing a friend instead of a date. Technically, he still managed to acquire a _plus one_ and Gabriel would have no choice but to give him the point. Castiel felt even worse about covering up one lie with another and hoped no one would spend too much time wondering how he managed to make such a speedy recovery.

As soon as they reached the bar Castiel peered inside and quickly spotted his brother flitting around the room and obsessively checking all the centrepieces. His sister was sitting at the main table. Castiel moved through the crowd with Dean in tow and bent down to wrap his arms around her and pass on his congratulations. Dean was right behind him and couldn't stop his eyes from wandering downwards. His jeans suddenly felt much tighter than he remembered. Dean was trying to work through the confusion tearing at a lifetime of heterosexuality when he suddenly realized he was attracted to Castiel.

_Shit. Don’t look at his ass… don’t look at his ass._

“Hey, ass - Cas!” Dean quickly corrected himself and pulled mindlessly at his collar. The temperature in the room must have risen about four degrees in the last thirty seconds. “I need a drink, back in a minute.” Dean pushed out through a sudden tightness in his throat. Castiel looked over his shoulder and smiled. He let Gabriel lead him to his designated seat and waited patiently for Dean to return so he could introduce him to his brother. Gabriel was too preoccupied with ensuring all the serviettes were pointing the same way and he could still see his reflection in the cutlery so Castiel left him to it and scanned the room for Dean. He saw him standing in the middle of the crowded floor looking completely lost. There was a strange sensation inside him every time Dean was close. It was very persistent and Castiel wasn't quite sure what he should do with it.

Dean saw him after a few seconds and smiled wide. Castiel struggled to stay calm when he signalled for Dean to make his way through the mob of people and join him on the main table. The only spot left was right next to him and Castiel felt his heart start to race at the thought of having to nestle in next to a muscular and very solid denim-covered thigh. He watched Dean walk over and couldn’t remember breathing at all until he was only centimetres away. Dean slid effortlessly into the seat next to him and set down the drinks. He definitely didn't feel his stomach flip over when Castiel smiled at him. Dean returned to the bar again a few minutes later after sinking his beer in record time. Castiel was violently stabbing a toothpick into a paper coaster to try and relieve some sexual frustration when he felt someone ease in beside him.

“So, who’s your friend?” Gabriel asked, nodding over to Dean. Castiel was admiring the view from the excellent vantage point of the centre table. He couldn’t resist a little smile when he saw Dean turn his head and glance discreetly in his direction like he wanted to check Castiel was still there, still watching him. He looked so vulnerable and insecure. So desperate for reassurance. There was a quiet longing there Castiel never imagined would exist in a man like Dean. He had a sudden desire to wrap his arms around him and keep him safe. He had no idea where it even came from but the thought alone made him all warm and squishy inside. He discarded the toothpick and dipped his head.

“Just someone I met recently. His name is Dean. Dean Winchester.” Castiel answered dreamily, subconsciously stroking seductive fingers along the tablecloth. Gabriel suddenly started to jump around in his seat when the realization slowly dawned on him.

“Oh my God, you _like_   him.” Gabriel practically squealed with delight. Castiel nudged him hard in the ribs with a particularly sharp jab.

“Shut up.” Castiel hissed. He leaned against Gabriel and glared at him. “He might hear you. Be quiet, Gabe. _Please_.”

“Just so you know, I'm _so_   totally okay with that. Shit.” Gabriel laughed. He shook his head while Castiel continued to scowl at him. “All this time. Why the hell didn’t you say something?” He suddenly looked serious. “All those terrible dates with girls I set you up with.” Gabriel cringed and rubbed one hand across his face. “You should have said something.”

“I didn’t know there was anything to say.” Castiel argued. He didn’t really sound all that convincing and had started to doubt everything he thought he knew about himself. Desperate to understand why he never doubted anything at all until he met Dean Winchester. The moment was suddenly broken by the warm sensation of someone nudging up against his side in a subtle attempt to get him to move along the seat a bit.

Dean Winchester.

Of course it was. He had an uncanny habit of turning up just when Castiel was having shameful thoughts about him. The odds weren't exactly astronomical seeing as Castiel had actually spent most of the week thinking about it.

“Hey, Cas. What’d I miss?”

“A revelation.” Gabriel laughed. His smug smile spread all the way across his face until Castiel kicked him under the table.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

It was getting late by the time most of the guests started to leave. Gabriel was helping clear up and moved effortlessly from table to table. Every so often he would glance over and smile. Castiel was terrified he was going to drop him in it and decided he should probably go home before his brother completely ruined the evening by allowing huge amounts of alcohol to inhibit his better judgment and tell Dean something he would rather not hear. He drained his glass and leaned into him.

“I’m ready to go, Dean.” Castiel pulled at his elbow. Dean swallowed his mouthful of beer and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. He patted Castiel on the thigh and set down his empty glass.

“Okay, I’ll walk you.” Dean offered. He had also consumed several beers and the customary glass of champagne but Castiel hadn't meant to imply he should take on the role of gallant chaperone.

“Dean, it’s fine. I wasn’t suggesting you have to take me home.” Castiel replied. Dean’s hand was still resting on top of his leg and Castiel knew he would have to get up really soon to prevent the sensation that was spreading up his skin from gravitating any higher. He had no intention of giving Gabriel that much satisfaction. “Honestly, I don’t mind. You’re not _actually_ my date, remember.” Castiel tried again, but Dean was having none of it.

“Shut up, Cas.” Dean slurred. He slowly drew his hand away and yanked on his leather jacket. They got up together and headed for the door. Castiel could see the light flooding in through the exit and the promise of safety from his brother until the morning at least. Gabriel was apparently prepared to let him have the moment. He raised one hand and waved them goodnight with a ridiculously over-exaggerated wink. Castiel sighed and hurriedly pushed Dean out into the street.

“Hey. Take it easy, Cas.” Dean laughed, turning to look at him over his shoulder. “You want to leave, I get it.” Castiel mumbled a rushed apology and they set off down the dark street side by side. The cold night air was blustering around them with the unmistakable chill of winter and Dean found himself leaning close to Castiel as they strolled on. It was only a fifteen minute walk but alcohol and tiredness were slowing their steps. The journey back to Castiel's apartment was taking much longer than usual.

Castiel suddenly tripped on an errant paving slab and accidentally bumped into Dean, instinctively putting both hands up to steady himself and only managed to stay upright by grabbing handfuls of leather. Dean held him up and wrapped one arm around Castiel’s shoulders to stop him falling over. Castiel hummed with pleasure when he leaned into the embrace and felt a surge of arousal leap into his dick when Dean's grip tightened around him. Castiel had spent most of the evening trying to decide if he really could be sexually attracted to Dean. His body had apparently made the decision for him. It was undeniable. He suddenly sensed the arm drop to his waist and pull him in closer. Dean was stroking his side through his shirt with trembling fingers. A few more steps followed in hesitant silence before he felt the sensation of a warm palm drop even lower and come to rest on his back pocket. He hitched in a breath of air in surprise before turning to face him. Dean was staring down at Castiel with a look of confusion and want melted into a single unreadable expression. He had an inexplicable desire to kiss him.

That burning need to know what Dean’s lips would feel like against his own conquered any possible threat of rejection and Castiel pushed himself up on the ends of his toes and touched their mouths together. Dean seemed to have lost the ability to do anything for several long seconds while Castiel waited. He had no idea if Dean was going to kiss him back or punch him in the face. 

Dean suddenly launched himself at Castiel and aggressively pushed him back into a dark alley away from the main road. He held him up against the wall and just glared at him. Castiel closed one eye and screwed up his face in preparation for the inevitable blow he thought was coming, but nothing happened. He opened it up again just in time to see Dean leaning in to capture him in a forceful kiss that left his mouth tingling and desperate for more. He tried to chase it when Dean pulled away again.

“Cas, wait... just wait.” Dean stumbled breathlessly. He edged Castiel away from him with a gentle push to his shoulders, holding his arms out at full stretch until Castiel felt his back nudge up against rough brick. Dean was desperately trying to gasp in fresh air and even more desperately trying to force himself _not_ to stare at the other man’s mouth. It was still slick with his own spit and shining in the glow of a street lamp. “I’m not gay.” Dean managed to hold eye contact while he fought the sudden need to bend Castiel over the nearest fire hydrant. Castiel's pupils blew out like spreading ink when he felt the warmth of Dean’s lust radiating off him in waves.

“I know, me either.” Castiel gasped. Dean deliberately held him out of licking distance. They just stared at each other until Dean really couldn't resist those full lips one second longer. He made a clumsy grab for Castiel’s face and pulled him into the messiest kiss either of them ever had. It was wet and dirty and Dean could hear himself humming into Castiel’s open mouth while his tongue searched relentlessly for more friction. He wasn’t sure either of them were still breathing by the time he pulled away.

“Just so you know.” Dean panted, pushing his body so close Castiel could feel hot breath skim over his face. He wanted to drench his soul with that dewy press of Dean’s mouth against his skin.

“Yes, Dean.” Castiel whispered, gently tilting his hips up to nudge his dick against him. He lost it completely when he realized Dean was fighting an erection. Castiel groaned his name when their stiffening cocks strained against each other. All resistance flooded away when Dean leaned in to kiss him again. He hesitated just before their mouths met. Castiel saw an unmistakable flash of desire.

“Cas.” Dean breathed. “I just can’t help myself. I’m so sorry.” The last word was just an indistinct mumble of noise as Dean pushed his mouth onto Castiel’s again and pinned him to the wall with his hips. Dean started to grind dry thrusts against his groin while the kiss deepened. Castiel had spent many nights dreaming about how wonderful Dean’s body would feel so close to him and now he had it, he never wanted it to stop.

“Please, Dean.” Castiel reluctantly pulled his mouth away. He was panting hard when Dean continued to piston his dick against him. “I want you so bad. I never realized how much until you kissed me.” They eventually moved apart and Dean scanned the length of the other man’s body in lustful appreciation. Castiel let his eyes linger on the curve of perfectly bowed lips when Dean leaned in even closer. He snaked both hands under the edge of Castiel’s shirt and pressed his fingers deep into his back with a low growl of longing that vibrated against him. Castiel tipped his head back with a shameless moan when Dean started to mouth and suck at the delicate skin of his throat. The obscene noises alone practically sent Castiel falling over into helpless submission as the passion started to overcome all his senses. He let Dean paw at him until his fingers slipped down the back of his pants. Castiel could feel the warm spread of eager palms grope the bare skin of his ass, and he liked it.

Castiel whispered Dean’s name against his hair when he moved his hands round to the front of Castiel’s boxers and searched blindly for his cock, stroking along the length of it for a few delicious seconds before he made the impulsive decision to take the rest of him before he changed his mind about making out in a dark alley with an allegedly straight man he hardly knew. Dean abandoned all logical thought and pulled recklessly at Castiel's belt. He undid the buckle and pushed his pants and boxers down over his hips until his dick jerked free. Castiel was shaking and whimpering when he listened to Dean’s lust-charged promises he was going to spread him open right there and make him scream. Dean held Castiel up against the wall and encouraged him to hitch up his shirt while he fumbled to undo his zipper and pull his own dick out. He managed to lift him up despite the awkward angle and Castiel gasped when he felt the end of Dean’s length nudge between his cheeks. It was shameful, and anything but romantic but he heard himself begging for it anyway. He sank his body down onto Dean’s hard cock and forced it in with determined thrusts until Dean was completely sheathed inside him. It hurt like hell, and his legs ached from the weight of holding himself up but he had never felt anything so sordid and yet so wonderful at the same time. His cries of ecstasy reverberated off the walls while Dean grunted like a ravenous animal with every merciless stroke he pounded into Castiel’s body. He kept going faster and faster until Dean was coming hard inside him. Castiel followed quickly and spattered the front of Dean’s shirt, reaching up and violently twisting his hands in his hair while he came down from a blinding orgasm. He fell forward against his chest and they stayed wrapped around each other for a few seconds until they got their breath back. 

Dean gently untangled the death grip around his neck. Castiel hurriedly pulled up his pants and fastened them in silence. His face was flushed and he was very sore, but he tried to maintain some semblance of dignity when he managed to force out a weak note of thanks. Dean was just staring at the ground like he couldn’t believe he let his instincts take over so completely. He didn't even look Castiel in the eyes when he mumbled a whispered apology. He stuck both hands deep in his pockets and muttered something about getting him home safely.

They walked the rest of the way without another word passing between them. Castiel suspected Dean already regretted their passionate encounter and it made him feel sick. Dean waited at the end of the path and watched Castiel unlock the door. The light from the hallway streamed out. Castiel was about to ask if he wanted to come in for a coffee but Dean was already walking away without saying goodnight. He raised one arm in farewell but never even looked back. Castiel leaned up against the door and sighed. He didn’t know if he would ever see him again and that hurt more deeply than it should. He shut the night out and went to bed alone.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Castiel woke up the next morning to see an unexpected flurry of light snow drifting past his window and an even more unexpected text message from Dean Winchester.

**: Hey Cas. Everything alright?**

Castiel squinted at the blurry letters while he blinked the sleepy haze away. If alright meant do you have a blinding headache, then he was just fine but if he was asking whether he felt any regret about the night before then the answer was definitely no. There was something so right about having Dean deep inside him and he knew he wanted more. He had left so suddenly there was no way he could feel the same. He probably only contacted him at all because he wanted to make sure Castiel knew he had no intention of seeing him again and that would be an end to it.

**: _Yes Dean._**

He threw the phone down and pulled the sheet back over his head. He just wanted to go back to sleep and sink into those blissful dreams where he could pretend Dean wanted him too. It bleeped again after a few seconds.

**: I meant are you alright?**

Castiel read it over again. He didn’t dare to hope Dean actually cared something for him. He was probably just being polite.

**: _Yes Dean.  
_**

That was apparently enough. Dean didn't reply. Castiel snuggled back under his covers and wondered how much he should read into the fact Dean had asked after him at all. He felt his eyes fluttering shut again. He had no intention of going into work that early on a Saturday morning and had been at a particularly pleasant point in his dream about Dean he was quite anxious to get back to. He just got comfortable when he heard the message tone again.

**: R u busy?**

**: _Depends_**

A minute or two passed in silence and Castiel realized his last message might have come across as a little rude. He hurriedly sent another one before Dean had the chance to tell him to go fuck himself, then.

**: _Sorry - still in bed. Why?_**

The response was almost immediate. Castiel couldn’t help but think Dean might actually be waiting for him to reply. A cautious thread of hope rose up inside his heart.

**: Can u come over? At the office  
**

**: _You really want to see me?_**

Another pause.

**: I would like 2 but if u don’t wanna come I'll understand**

Castiel threw back the sheet and almost jumped out of bed knowing Dean wanted to see him again, even if it was just to tell him he could never be with him like that. He wanted to text back and tell Dean he would happily run all the way to the office butt naked in the snow for the chance to see him just one more time, but he replied with something else in case it really was just to wish him well and say goodbye.

**: _See what I can do_**

**: Thanks : )**

It must have looked suspicious enough that Castiel was leaping up the stairs two at a time in under twenty minutes. He had literally sprung out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans. He swilled a mouthful of water and toothpaste before he was out the door and practically sprinting up the road as fast as he could. The door to Dean’s office hung slightly open and Castiel walked straight in. Dean was sitting at his desk. It looked even more disordered than usual and he was resting his head in his hands. Castiel didn’t think he even heard him come in. He stood anxiously in the doorway and waited. He soon got bored and tapped on the door. Dean jerked his head up. He seemed to be caught somewhere between surprise and disbelief. Castiel thought he looked very tired. He had dark shadows under his eyes and his hair was all messed up. He was wearing the same clothes he had on the night before and rough stubble lined his jaw.

“Cas. How are you?” Dean asked awkwardly. He was chewing hard on his bottom lip and finding it incredibly difficult to look into the eyes of a man he fucked up against a dirty brick wall less than twelve hours before.

“Hello, Dean. I’m okay.” Castiel answered cautiously, still not sure why Dean wanted to see him. “Didn't you go home last night?” Dean glanced at him nervously and then looked away again. He slowly shook his head.

“I’ve been staying with Sam this week anyways what with redecorating and stuff.” He answered. “I just didn’t want to go there last night after… well. I came back here, but I couldn’t sleep.” Dean must actually live there most of the time and Castiel wasn’t sure what that implied but he didn't look very happy. Castiel wished he could just get the inevitable dismissal over with and go home. “I'm so sorry I did that to you.” Castiel tilted his head. That was the last thing he expected.

“Dean, you don’t have to apologize.”

“Yes I do. I don’t know what else to say. I had so much to drink and you made me think you wanted it.” Castiel was staring at him. “I just couldn’t stop myself.”

“So, what are you saying?” Castiel asked. “I was a drunken mistake?” Dean moved over to him and rested both hands on his shoulders.

“No, Cas. That’s not what I’m saying. I just don't know how to deal with being so attracted to another man... to you.” Castiel dropped his arms and looked at Dean with a dark look burning behind his eyes. 

“I don’t want your pity.” He said quietly. Dean reached for his hands.

“That’s not what this is.” 

“Then what is it?” 

“I don’t know. I think maybe I’m just having a really hard time accepting how much I wanted it.” Castiel swallowed hard. “How much I still want it.” His gaze dropped back to the soft plump mouth and Dean leaned in close. Castiel closed his eyes. He jerked them both open again when the moment was completely ruined by what sounded like a faulty stylophone massacring _smoke on the water_. “Shit, it’s my cell... hang on.” Dean sighed, reaching into the back of his jeans. He scanned the screen and shoved the phone back into his pocket.

“Sam.” Dean said. “I’ll call him back.”

Castiel knew his breaths were filling the air with sounds of desperation. He longed to feel Dean’s body next to him again, strong hands caressing his ass. He never wanted anyone the way he wanted Dean. Castiel was terrified if he allowed himself to love that man he would never want to let him go. None of that even mattered as soon as Dean gently cupped Castiel's face in his hands and pressed a delicate kiss to his lips.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Castiel finished work early. The store was never really that busy after dark and the last snowfall encouraged most people to stay at home all afternoon. Dean asked him to call in again later because there was something he wanted to say to him. Castiel was more than a little curious. They shared another passionate kiss before Castiel went to open up the bookstore. Dean’s diary was almost full for the day so Castiel left before they had chance to do anything else.

After closing Castiel walked all the way back across town with a sappy smile painted across his face and a demanding ache in his body he knew could only be filled by Dean. The snow had started to drift down again but he couldn’t even feel the cold anymore. His thoughts were filled with intoxicating images of green eyes, curved lips and the beautiful memory of Dean’s body pressed up against him. When he reached the office he felt an unexpected flutter of excitement at the thought of touching Dean again.

Castiel was standing just behind the door and waiting politely for Dean to finish with his last client of the day. He could hear a muffled conversation and the distinctive sound of rustling paper.

“What about this one? He’s cute.” A woman’s voice asked. Castiel heard Dean gasp and couldn’t resist a sneaky peek into the office but he didn’t go in. Dean’s face seemed to light up when he saw him and gestured for his client to turn round. The man in the photo she was holding was now standing behind her.

“Well, you _could_   ask him. I don’t think his boyfriend would be too happy about it, though.” Castiel was staring at Dean from the shadow of the doorway when he watched shining green eyes flick up to meet him. His mouth curved into a shy smile when Dean slipped the picture and the index card safely into his pocket. He patted it twice, just to make sure. “Actually.” Dean added, turning his attention back to the client. “I’m sorry, but I was just about to take him off our books. He’s no longer available.” They were soon alone in the office again and Castiel's heart was pounding in his chest when Dean got up from his desk and walked towards him. “Let’s start again, shall we?” Dean smiled down at him. A warm and genuine smile that made his eyes sparkle. “You want a date?” Dean echoed his first words to Castiel when he wrapped his arms tightly around his waist and pulled him close. “A proper one this time, with me." Dean lifted one hand to caress the side of Castiel’s face with a gentle sweep of his thumb. Castiel closed his eyes when Dean dipped his head and brushed their lips together.

“Oh God, yes. More than anything.” Castiel sighed into his mouth. Dean licked seductively across the soft lips and nipped the flesh between his teeth. There was absolutely no point in denying what it was Dean did to his heart anymore. Castiel was completely and hopelessly in love with him. Dean brushed a strand of dark hair from Castiel's face and let his fingertips rest on his cheek. Castiel could almost taste him.

“I wanna do something special for you, Cas. I don’t want our _real_ first date to be me banging you up against a wall.” Dean said gently. Castiel bit his lip in shame at the memory of how much he had begged for it. “Tomorrow’s Sunday. Neither of us have to work, so why don’t you have a lay in and make yourself all pretty and stuff.” Dean flirtatiously bumped his knuckles against the side of his face. “Then come by early evening and we’ll make it official. I might even buy you dinner.” He added, with a wink. “Sorry dude, but I don’t cook and you probably wouldn’t thank me if I did.” Castiel agreed and kissed Dean’s hands before he walked home. He never felt so blissfully happy.

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

Castiel just wanted Sunday evening to arrive. He spent most of the morning in bed with his cell surgically attached to his hand while Dean sent him a series of disgraceful text messages that only made him need to take a cold shower. Dean was very secretive about what he had planned for their first official date and nothing Castiel could say would make him cave. He sent one last text before he got ready to meet Dean at his office.

**: _Dean stop teasing :P_**

**: I’m not gonna tell so if u really wanna know get ur cute butt over here**

Castiel didn't need any more encouragement. He had no intention of being fashionably late and didn't care. He had waited all day already and if he came across as tragically desperate, then so be it. Castiel couldn't wait another second to feel Dean close again. It was just getting dark when he reached the end of the street. A light covering of crisp snow made the world look fresh and pure where the drifts were left untouched. The sign of a new beginning for both of them.

Dean was waiting for him at the top of the stairs. Castiel flashed him a dazzling smile and jumped up the steps two at a time. He thought his heart might actually burst right open it was beating so fast. Dean grabbed one of his hands and covered Castiel's eyes with the other. He felt blindly along the wall until he knew he was safely inside the office. Dean made him keep both eyes screwed shut until he heard him lock the door.

“’Kay, you can look now.” Dean whispered. Castiel blinked the darkness away and gasped in astonishment. Along the back wall was a pull-out bed sprinkled with red rose petals and Dean had sculpted a string of fairy lights into the shape of a heart in the centre. There were lit candles everywhere and a bottle of champagne on ice next to the bed. He even wedged a miniature tub of his favourite ice cream down the side of the cooler. Castiel smiled when he saw they would have to share the same spoon. “I say we have our own Valentine’s Day right here.” Castiel had no idea what to say. Dean had taken his breath away. His eyes drifted to the bed. “This isn’t just about sex.” Dean said quickly, his cheeks turning pink. Castiel hoped he didn't look too disappointed. He was hoping there was actually going to be quite a lot of that as well. “I don’t think I ever felt anything like I feel for you.” Castiel smiled and pulled Dean towards him, wrapping his hands around his back to keep him close. The soft lights on the bed lit up his face and made his eyes twinkle.

“What are you trying to say, Dean?” Castiel murmured against his mouth.

Dean inhaled a sharp breath. 

“I think I already knew you were the right one for me from the second you fell into my life, Cas." Castiel could feel the emotion welling up in his eyes when he let those words fill every part of him with happiness. He blinked the tears away and gazed slowly around the room. It was the perfect setting for them to make love again.

“This is so wonderful. Romantic and thoughtful and just... _wonderful_. Thank you, Dean.”

Dean smiled, and shrugged like it was nothing. He didn't tell Castiel it had taken most of the day to set up and successfully emptied his wallet.

“I would have done something for you before, but I thought you hated Valentine’s Day.”

Castiel suddenly pulled Dean down on top of him with a wicked smile loaded with desire.

“I did.” He sighed against Dean’s lips, pushing his body up to kiss him again. “Then the strangest thing happened.” Castiel ran his hands slowly down Dean’s body and slipped them into the back of his pants. Dean hummed into his mouth. “I met this beautiful boy and fell hopelessly in love with him.” Castiel gave Dean’s ass a seductive grope. He wrapped his legs around his back and let Dean push down on him. “Maybe I just had a change of heart.” Castiel laughed when Dean lifted up his shirt and peppered kisses along his stomach.

“Yeah - literally, Cas.” Dean pulled his mouth away so he could look up at Castiel from under the cover of his eyelashes. “It doesn’t feel wrong, though.” Dean breathed against him, dragging his lips all the way down Castiel’s soft skin until he reached his hips. He kissed tenderly along the sharp planes and reached up to grab his dick, moving in gentle strokes until it was rigid in his hand. “So wet for me, Cas.” Castiel closed his eyes in bliss. He thought Dean was going to say something else but the sudden pleasure surging through him suggested his mouth was now so full he probably couldn’t talk anymore. Castiel ran the tips of his fingers through Dean’s hair, more than ready to surrender completely. Dean sucked and licked at him until the combination of explosive sensations sent him over the edge with a rush of ecstasy.

Dean wiped the back of one hand across his mouth and climbed back up the bed. Castiel exhaled a happy satiated sigh and let Dean wrap one arm around his shoulders. He pulled at the sheet in a rather futile attempt to cover his throbbing modesty when Dean reached over for the champagne and popped the cork with one hand. He quickly bent his head to suck the top of the bottle where the sudden force of bubbles had caused it to overflow. Castiel always seemed to be completely mesmerized by the movement of Dean’s mouth.

“I think I could get to like Valentine’s Day.”

“I think you need to cool down a bit.” Dean thrust a freezing cold hand underneath the covers and Castiel wriggled playfully under his touch. “Just eat your ice cream until I'm ready for a repeat performance.” Dean winked. The anticipation of more Winchester sex sent a wave of arousal shuddering down Castiel's body. Dean took a slug of champagne before passing it over, so happy they had finally found each other. The snow started to fall again and they tangled their legs together under the sheets to stay warm. Dean whispered a soft promise to Castiel when he slipped his hand under the sheets to check he was almost ready for him again. “You never know your luck, Cas.” Dean gave his ass a particularly forceful squeeze. “Next year I might even take you to Paris.”

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

 

  


End file.
